Posted by: exileindixie | April 14, 2010

The Mountain Top

I went to Target Field today.  If you are reading this blog, you probably already have been to Target Field and think it’s the best thing ever, or you wish you were there already and are pretty sure it will be the best thing ever when you get there.  There’s no one here to convert (or here at all, really), so no sense in preaching to the choir.  Target Field is Glorious.  I will limit myself to a few brief comments before getting to the at-bat music game.

First, we took the light rail in to the game.  When the pre-recorded voice announced, “Next stop, Target Field,” some guy on the train let out the best celebratory whoop I’ve ever heard.  And this was at 10:30 a.m., so I’m pretty sure that it was from the heart and not from the festivities.  God bless you, unnamed sir.

Second, my wife pointed out that Target Field iconography looks like something out of the Jetsons, what with the big glass structures jutting out into a big glass city.  You can now sing songs about “Meet Joe Mauer” to the Jetsons theme song tune and thank me when you can’t stop.

Third, aside from a key Mauer at-bat, people went the craziest for Jim Thome’s pinch hit appearance.  Turns out, it wasn’t just me – ALL Twins fans have been closet Jim Thome fans for years.

Lastly, and a little maddeningly, the ONLY thing this new field lacks is courtesy ushers.  Mofos were NOT conscientious Minnesotans and did NOT wait for a break in the action before hiking up and down and up and down and up and down the aisles.  Seriously, it’s a 2-2 count with runners on.  You need to get food or return with your food right now?  Like a true Minnesotan, I did not say anything critical to any of the discourteous, but complained quietly about them to my wife.  Like a modern passive aggressive archetype, I then took my complaints to an open letter on “the internet.”

Now.  What you may not have been able to hear at home is the team’s current at-bat music.  And there are some amazing choices.  So I invite you to take the Exile in Dixie At-Bat Music Challenge! Our game is simple – I give you some music, you guess the batter, then you read below for answers and some mediocre jokes.  Ready?

Music:

  1. Phil Collins, In the Air Tonight
  2. T.I., What You Know
  3. Tom Petty, American Girl
  4. Aggressive Trolls, Aggressive Troll Music

Stop.  Guess.

Answers:

1. Phil Collins, In the Air Tonight – Nick Punto.  Maybe the best choice ever.

Also, Nick Punto hit a foul ball at an extremely improbable angle today and smacked the older lady a few seats away right in the chest.  It made a really unpleasant thump.  It was a little upsetting, and I had to go to my happy place, which is now and forever where Nick Punto plays the In the Air Tonight drums like a gorilla.

2. T.I., What You Know – Joe Mauer.  Maybe the most unlikely pairing of the decade.  Joe Mauer has been the best ever at everything since forever.  He’s probably way more competitive than his regional accent and boyish aw-shucks demeanor would suggest, but he’s also got a thick regional accent and a boyish aw-shucks demeanor.  So how much do you suppose Joe Mauer knows about the following? “Don’t you know I got key by the three / When I chirp shawty chirp back / Louis nap sack where I holdin all the work at… / Loaded 44s on the low where the cheese at / Fresh off the jet to the Jects where the G’s at?”

Personally, I’m skeptical, but then again I never turned the water into wine, either.

3. Tom Petty, American GirlJJ Hardy.  I heard this song later in the game (the actual baseball game, not this here game), so it may not be his go-to music, but how does this song make JJ feel about the upcoming at bat?  Nostalgic?  Kind of grooving in a non-descript way?  Like he should have been in a bar band and learned to cover “Hot Blooded,” too?  All valid, really.  And he does have to bat before Punto’s Gorilla, so kudos to JJ for realizing his at-bat theme is the opening act.

4. Aggressive Trolls, Aggressive Troll Music (ed. note: a google search reveals that the actual band and title are Powerman 500, Supervillian):  It’s Kubel.  He’s a troll who knows what he wants and knows how to get it.

(ed. note again: the same google search reveals that Jim Thome’s at-bat music is from the 300 soundtrack.  Jim Thome deserves our crazy, sportsfans.  In fact, rather than make vague references, I’ll just give you the link that has everyone’s music, per FSN.)

*    *    *    *    *

One final comment on a previous post – Delmon Young’s defensive woes are not behind him.  He dove for a ball that landed a good 20 feet in front of him today.  Ugh.  Also, with a runner on first, he read the signs from the third base coach like they meant something much more profound than “the hit and run is on.”  Happily, his swing looks pretty sweet.  He’s not killing the ball, but he’s making good line drive contact.  And while praising former Baseball Prospectus’ former number one prospects, Jeremy Hermida’s swing looked pretty sweet, too.  So sweet that he buried the Twins with a bases-loaded double in the 8th.  Ugh again.  Good night, friends and neighbors.

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Responses

  1. Ms. Dixie would at-bat with Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” or Janis Joplin’s “Piece of My Heart” (intro or chorus).

  2. I got 100% on your quiz after cheating and reading the answers first

    • But did you go the extra mile and watch the video, then imagine Nick Punto imagining he was a gorilla playing the drums? Because that’s how you really get 100%.


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